“The hardest thing is that I only feel bad about not feeling bad.”
Today’s Episode – Loss is Complicated!
There is no cookie cutter approach to dealing with loss. Whether you are someone who recently experienced the death of a family member, or a therapist working with individuals through the bereavement process, how we take this journey is complicated. There is no clear pathway or destination.
Bereavement vs. Bewilderment
I share my own experience of the loss of my father earlier this month. While many will hear my remarks and recoil, I believe it is important to share my journey with openness and honesty. There is healing in transparency.
I have not experienced the, ‘typical,’ bereavement process depicted on television. Oftentimes, the media characterizes loss as self-reflective time with a clear resolution. On the occasion when things don’t go well, bereavement is described as, ‘complicated’ (clinically), with symptoms similar to depression.
In today’s episode, I reflect on my experience of, ‘complicated bewilderment‘. This has been a confusing time – The emotions I have experienced are absolutely lacking. If anything, I feel bad for not feeling bad.
I risk sounding like a sociopath. That is, of course, not the case. I have enough insight at this point in my journey, to understand that my experience is informed by how truly horrible by father was as a person. This is the honest truth, no matter how much it might offend. Going to social media and attempting to rewrite history through platitudes of what a great man he was, feels reprehensible.
Have Your Say!
We love listener feedback. Did today’s episode affect you in a particular way? Have you had a similar experience?
Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode
As mentioned, if you are looking for a great starting place in your studies on bereavement, read, “On Death and Dying,” by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. This ground breaking work walks you through the relative stages of loss.